


Gordon and Freeman and their 1 am Anxiety

by VoidLeviathan



Series: Coffee-Stained Books - Extra Bits [5]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Freeman and Gordon have the same name, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Sleepiness, They arent related its just like, a coincidence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24483268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidLeviathan/pseuds/VoidLeviathan
Summary: “Happy to help my ‘shadow self’, as Benrey likes to put it, any time.”
Series: Coffee-Stained Books - Extra Bits [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768609
Kudos: 52





	Gordon and Freeman and their 1 am Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> READ  
> DO IT
> 
> Freeman is HLVRAI Gordon  
> Gordon is HL Gordon  
> They ARE NOT related  
> They look a bit different from each other
> 
> This was the only way to differentiate them without it being confusing.
> 
> I do not usually have anyone beta read but I did fix what I could in this one. I'll fix any mistakes later.

A sharp knock at the door nearly caused Gordon to drop his nightly tea. They didn’t usually get visitors at this hour unless someone had told Barney or Gordon ahead of time they’d be coming over, so whoever was out there clearly didn’t know how to message ahead of time like the others kindly did.    
  
Or thats what Gordon thought until he opened the door to find Freeman an absolute mess.    
Freeman as in Gordon’s odd lookalike with a similar name and taste in most things, but not a very similar personality. They met in college a few years ago and had only just gotten back in contact thanks to the help of Tommy and Benrey.    
  
How did he even find their place?    
Maybe Barney gave him the address? Or maybe it was Tommy.   
  
“Hey I...uh…shit this is awkward...could I talk to you?”    
  
“ _ Its nearly one in the morning. _ ”   
  
“I know, I know I just…” He looked defeated. His hand running through his obviously messy hair in search for the right words. Part of Gordon wanted to scold Freeman for showing up so late without a text, but the other part of him could tell that something was clearly eating at him. Maybe a nightmare? Something else? He wasn't sure yet but if the bags under his eyes were a sign for anything it was that he certainly hasn’t gotten any sleep at all.    
  
Gordon shuffled to the side, “ _ Come sit on the couch. You gotta give me a second to shut our room door so you don’t wake up Barney. _ ”   
  
Right. Barney. Freeman had forgotten about Barney. Benrey’s brother Barney, Barney Calhoun the guy who works at the cafe whose so much like Benrey yet so different. The distant sound of a room door clicking made him flinch. Why was he so anxious? Its not like Gordon was going to attack him while he was here. He just wanted to talk to him about...well...Benrey.    
  
“ _ Alright Barney’s still asleep, thankfully. _ ” Gordon signed as he finally sat down, “ _ Now whats got you all riled up tonight? At one in the morning no less. _ ”   
  
“Would you believe me if I said Benrey?” Freeman laughed dryly, “I’ve been thinking alot about how I recently got back into contact with him since...uh...meeting your boyfriend and well..”   
  
“ _ You’re feeling guilty again? _ ”   
  
“Yeah. Jeez its all just...Its sudden you know? I still feel awful about what I did and I don’t...I don’t know how to fix it Gordon. I don’t think he’d even forgive me. It  _ sucks _ . I’ve been staying up for hours every night just thinking about how things could have been if I just didn’t panic.” Freeman runs his hand through his hair again, a nervous tick Gordon has quickly picked up on while listening to him.    
  
So this was about the two of them falling apart in college? That wasn’t a very big surprise considering how often they’d been spending time together since Freeman started to hang around the group. It wasn’t exactly easy for him to avoid Benrey when Benrey was currently dating Tommy.    
  
“ _ Why don’t you just tell him how you’re feeling right now? _ ”   
  
“Because its not easy to do something like that with Benrey!” Freeman sighed, “I can’t just-..just walk up to him and say ‘Hey remember when I dumped you over text in college all those years ago?’ and expect him not to resent me!”    
  
“ _ And what makes you think he’ll resent you? _ ”   
  
Something about that question made Freeman pause. He never really thought about that. Why would Benrey resent him for something so clearly panicked in the moment years ago?    
  
“I guess...my anxiety?”    
  
Gordon snorted, “ _ Do you always listen to your anxiety? _ ”    
  
“I-I mean…well...I uh…”   
  
“ _ Then theres your problem. _ ”   
  
Freeman still looked like a kicked dog down on his luck. Exhausted and anxious and frankly very obviously still love sick no matter how hard he tried to tell himself he wasn’t. Gordon would have sent him home now given the hour it was, but lucky for Freeman he was a better man that that. He sighed, shaking his head lightly and patting the forlorn teacher on the shoulder.    
  
“ _ Listen, I was the same way with Barney. It wasn’t exactly over the fact that I ever dated him previously, but more so because I worried I’d lose him like I did my family. When we started to hang out more and started to really realize we loved each other I nearly told myself that it would end bad and he’d get hurt. _ ”   
  
“Obviously that went well for you.” Freeman mumbled. Gordon couldn’t help but laugh just a little.    
  
“ _ What I did was listen to the better part of me and talk to him about it rather than running away. You can’t just avoid something like a strong yearning for someone forever you know? You gotta just rip the bandaid off and hope for the best. If Benrey doesn’t feel the same way like you have after all these years, then hes just not worth your time. If he does, then you’ll have to work that out with Tommy and maybe you guys can make something good of it. Don’t let your anxiety keep you away from what could possibly be making you happy right now Freeman. I can assure you if Barney saw you right now he’d be distraught and probably try to fight his brother. _ ”   
  
The joke made Freeman laugh at the very least. Leave it to Barney to weirdly be there for him even though they haven’t even known each other for that long.    
  
“You really love Barney huh?”   
  
“ _ Just about as much as you obviously love Benrey. I plan on uh...proposing to him after he finally graduates when he finishes this last semester...maybe if you talk to them you’ll be in the same situation with Benrey and Tommy, yeah? _ ”   
  
“And to think I’m meant to be the older sensible teacher in our friend group.”    
  
“ _ You should stay the night, I can get the spare bed set up for you. _ ”   
  
Freeman nodded, sighing heavily one last time while he thought about the advice he’d been given.    
  
“Hey Gordon? I uh..thanks.... I mean for listening to me and all. It really helped out a lot I think…”   
  
Gordon grinned, “ _ Happy to help my ‘shadow self’, as Benrey likes to put it, any time.” _


End file.
